Dear Abby: “Explicit photos send words of warning”

“NAMELESS in Georgia” writes to Dear Abby (1/5/10):

Dear Abby:

Shortly after college and a bad breakup, I met someone I thought was a “nice” guy. I allowed him to take sexually explicit photos of me. I realize now that I did it because I had very low self-esteem then.

The moment he snapped the pictures I regretted it and asked for them back. He refused, and even tried to extort money from me with threats of sending copies to my workplace. I was working for a Fortune 500 company at the time and was scared to death. Fortunately, he didn’t follow through on his threat.

Fast forward 20 years…I do wonder what happened to the pictures. With today’s technology, they could be anywhere now…

Abby, please warn young girls and boys to think before doing something that can possibly follow them through a lifetime.

See also:

Now Showing at The War on Privacy and Consent (explicit)
Ex Boyfriends Revenge
Dedicated to exposing real ex-girlfriends.

Real Hidden Coed Girls #1
The college coed cummundrum continues! In other words college chicks are getting filmed naked! Without their permission! Naked while they change dress shower get ready for bed or take communal showers with other girls at the…

Porn Past Haunts Women Long After Pictures Taken
For the last half hour Belinda and I have been consoling a crying girl who showed up at our house this evening. She begged and pleaded for us to have her photos removed from the internet. Her life, in her own words, has “become a living hell”.

She lost a good job because, according to her boss, she “has too much drama in her life right now”. What is that supposed to mean? It means the boss grew weary of her co-workers talking about the “porn star” in their midst. She was made aware that her presence disrupted the company.

Her boyfriend will leave her if the photos can’t be removed from the internet. He can’t bear having friends teasing him about his “porn star” girlfriend exposing everything for all the world to see.

She told me, “I never thought anyone I knew would see these. There are thousands of websites out there. I just didn’t think they’d be found.”

She begged and pleaded to return the money she was paid in exchange for her photos being removed from the sites for which she’d posed. I had to let her know there is nothing I can do for her. There are hundreds of producers around the world, all of whom have models that change their minds and want to reverse their decision to work in the adult industry. The companies to whom we sell our content generally ignore all requests for removal…

If, in the future, this model applies for a position that requires a morality clause be signed (a practice that is becoming more popular all the time, by the way) this girl will not qualify. I know this from experience, as another of my models lost a position due to such a clause. This girl’s entire future was changed for the worst when she posed for us on June 26th, 2006.

Porn Stories: Another Email from a Former Model (7/28/08)
“Life’s been kind of hard since I took those pics with you 7-8 years back. I had to drop out of a class because the instructor was giving me his opinion about the photos that he just happened to stumble upon, the love of my life broke up with me cause of the pics, got back together with me but will never marry me, I’ve had people I work with get together behind closed doors and share those pictures with each other (had to quit), people recognize me when I’m out about town, I’ve lost my sense of security.”

Testimony in Minneapolis: Prostitutes Blackmailed with Porn
…on many occasions, my clients are multi-, many-, rape victims. These rapes are often either taped or have photographs taken of the event. The young woman, when she tries to escape or leaves, is told that either she continues her involvement in prostitution or those pictures will be sent to her parents, will be sent to the juvenile court, will be used against her. And out of fear, she will continue her involvement in prostitution.

On several occasions, not many but on several occasions, these young women have found that later that their pictures have been published in pornographic magazines without their knowledge and consent. This is very traumatic, especially when I have been working hard with this young woman to make things in her life better. She is involved in the straight lifestyle and finds out there are published pictures of her engaged in various sex acts.

Testimony in Los Angeles: Peter Bogdanovich on Porn and Hollywood
Since Dorothy [Stratten] was killed, a lot of women have written to me or told me what Playboy has done to them [Stratten, who appeared in Playboy, was murdered by her pimp husband]. Even if they manage to avoid personal liaison within the sex factories, they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it, or live it down, or cover it up, or get away from it. Other young women have been tricked, pressured, blackmailed into pornography, and they have trouble, there’s trouble getting them out. Actresses who have consented to some nudity in legitimate films, pictures of this have been put into pornography without their consent. Cybill Shepherd had that happen to her when, from a picture we did together–and believe me, if I had that scene to do over again, we’d just as soon not do it naked, because it wasn’t really necessary.

There are lucky ones who won lawsuits. They could afford lawsuits, but didn’t repair what happened to them. Since my last testimony, I’ve been in touch with many people in the entertainment field… They, along with the people that I’m mentioning, the silent people, they’re all afraid to come down here and tell you exactly about their experiences… Women who were in pornography are afraid to speak out because it will call attention to their past, which will destroy the margin of legitimacy that they have been able to establish for themselves. These women live in fear of exposure, and there are a lot of them.

Pornoland’s unwritten law: “if we tell the truth about what’s really going on here, the fan will get turned off”
Bill Margold, a veteran porn star who now counsels young people entering the business, says 18-year-olds are too young to make the potentially life-altering decision to go into porn. “I get 18-, 19-year-old girls who just don’t understand that once you do this, you are sociologically damned forever,” he said.