Porn Past Haunts Women Long After Pictures Taken
Between 1997 and 2006, Donny Pauling produced nearly 2 million pornography photographs and hours of video. Then he stopped. At his blog, Donny's Ramblings, he offers an insiders' perspective on the lasting impact of porn on the people who work in it. He has kindly given us permission to reprint these two articles.
See also:
Porn Stories: Another Email from a Former Model (7/28/08)
"Life’s been kind of hard since I took those pics with you 7-8 years back. I had to drop out of a class because the instructor was giving me his opinion about the photos that he just happened to stumble upon, the love of my life broke up with me cause of the pics, got back together with me but will never marry me, I’ve had people I work with get together behind closed doors and share those pictures with each other (had to quit), people recognize me when I’m out about town, I’ve lost my sense of security."
Phone Call This Morning (10/5/06)
...I have little personal attraction to pornography. When asked why I say this I tell them, “When I see a pornographic image or video, instead of seeing what the model is doing in the photo or video I see her two weeks after it was shot. The money has been spent and she’s crying on the phone asking that her photos be removed because her family has found out and are telling her that she’s shamed them.”
Pornoland's unwritten law: "if we tell the truth about what's really going on here, the fan will get turned off"
Bill Margold, a veteran porn star who now counsels young people entering the business, says 18-year-olds are too young to make the potentially life-altering decision to go into porn. "I get 18-, 19-year-old girls who just don't understand that once you do this, you are sociologically damned forever," he said.
Jenna Jameson's Cautions to Would-Be Porn Stars
[The performers] don't own any rights to their screen work, so scenes can be reused in compilations. And because the adult industry isn't unionized and the movies are so cheap to make, the stars make a piddling slice of the overall profits...
Anti-Pornography Activist Blog: "Jenna Jameson’s 25 Good Reasons Why No One Would Ever Want to Become a Porn Star"
“Most girls get their first experience in gonzo films - in which they’re taken to a crappy studio apartment in Mission Hills and penetrated in every hole possible by some abusive asshole who thinks her name is Bitch. And these girls, some of whom have the potential to become major stars in the industry, go home afterward and pledge never to do it again because it was such a terrible experience.” (Pg. 132)
“In a worst-case scenario, a gonzo director will take a girl to a hotel room and have their friends shoot a cheap scene in which she is humiliated in every orifice possible. She walks home with three thousand dollars, bowed legs, and a terrible impression of the industry. It’ll be her first and last movie, and she’ll regret it – to her dying day.” (Pg. 325)
“In other scenarios, she’ll work for two weeks until she’s only getting paid seven hundred dollars a scene and then, finally, no one wants to use her anymore. So she’ll agree to do double penetration or drink the sperm of twelve guys just to stay working.” (Pg. 325)
“If you take the time to read it (a sample adult-film contract) carefully, you will notice many ways in which a female performer can get shafted – both literally and metaphorically.” (Pg. 353)
Martin Amis: "A rough trade" (explicit)
Porn Actresses: Most Careers Are Short, Few Are Lucrative (explicit language)
Testimony in Los Angeles: Peter Bogdanovich on Porn and Hollywood
Since Dorothy [Stratten] was killed, a lot of women have written to me or told me what Playboy has done to them [Stratten, who appeared in Playboy, was murdered by her pimp husband]. Even if they manage to avoid personal liaison within the sex factories, they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it, or live it down, or cover it up, or get away from it. Other young women have been tricked, pressured, blackmailed into pornography, and they have trouble, there's trouble getting them out. Actresses who have consented to some nudity in legitimate films, pictures of this have been put into pornography without their consent. Cybill Shepherd had that happen to her when, from a picture we did together--and believe me, if I had that scene to do over again, we'd just as soon not do it naked, because it wasn't really necessary.
There are lucky ones who won lawsuits. They could afford lawsuits, but didn't repair what happened to them. Since my last testimony, I've been in touch with many people in the entertainment field... They, along with the people that I'm mentioning, the silent people, they're all afraid to come down here and tell you exactly about their experiences... Women who were in pornography are afraid to speak out because it will call attention to their past, which will destroy the margin of legitimacy that they have been able to establish for themselves. These women live in fear of exposure, and there are a lot of them.
Testimony in Minneapolis: Prostitutes Blackmailed with Porn
...on many occasions, my clients are multi-, many-, rape victims. These rapes are often either taped or have photographs taken of the event. The young woman, when she tries to escape or leaves, is told that either she continues her involvement in prostitution or those pictures will be sent to her parents, will be sent to the juvenile court, will be used against her. And out of fear, she will continue her involvement in prostitution.
On several occasions, not many but on several occasions, these young women have found that later that their pictures have been published in pornographic magazines without their knowledge and consent. This is very traumatic, especially when I have been working hard with this young woman to make things in her life better. She is involved in the straight lifestyle and finds out there are published pictures of her engaged in various sex acts.
Capital Video: Purveyors of Shame Feature a New "Celebrity Sex Tape Scandal" (explicit language)
Capital Video excels in the wrongful uses of shame. We have already discussed their prominent offering of "1 Night in Paris" at their website, Amazing.net:
Now Showing at Amazing.net: The War on Privacy and Consent (explicit)
Ex Boyfriends Revenge
Dedicated to exposing real ex-girlfriends.
Real Hidden Coed Girls #1
The college coed cummundrum continues! In other words college chicks are getting filmed naked! Without their permission! Naked while they change dress shower get ready for bed or take communal showers with other girls at the...
Porn Stories: A Crying Model Just Left My House
Posted on November 22, 2006 by Donny Pauling
The porn stories series begins a little earlier than expected.
For the last half hour Belinda and I have been consoling a crying girl who showed up at our house this evening. She begged and pleaded for us to have her photos removed from the internet. Her life, in her own words, has “become a living hell”.
She lost a good job because, according to her boss, she “has too much drama in her life right now”. What is that supposed to mean? It means the boss grew weary of her co-workers talking about the “porn star” in their midst. She was made aware that her presence disrupted the company.
Her boyfriend will leave her if the photos can’t be removed from the internet. He can’t bear having friends teasing him about his “porn star” girlfriend exposing everything for all the world to see.
She told me, “I never thought anyone I knew would see these. There are thousands of websites out there. I just didn’t think they’d be found.”
She begged and pleaded to return the money she was paid in exchange for her photos being removed from the sites for which she’d posed. I had to let her know there is nothing I can do for her. There are hundreds of producers around the world, all of whom have models that change their minds and want to reverse their decision to work in the adult industry. The companies to whom we sell our content generally ignore all requests for removal.
Barely a week ago, this model found out she’s pregnant. She cried as she explained her horror at the thought of her child being teased about having a mother who was involved in pornography.
She’s been dealing with this for weeks, and finally showed up on my door because she doesn’t know what else to do. The stress is overwhelming, and can’t possibly be good for her developing baby.
Unfortunately, removing her photo and video content from the internet (if that were even possible - which it’s not) would not end her problem. The people who have been circulating this material have undoubtedly saved it to their hard drives. They’ll continue sharing it even if the content is pulled.
If, in the future, this model applies for a position that requires a morality clause be signed (a practice that is becoming more popular all the time, by the way) this girl will not qualify. I know this from experience, as another of my models lost a position due to such a clause. This girl’s entire future was changed for the worst when she posed for us on June 26th, 2006.
This story is tame in comparison to those I’ll share with you in the future. But this one is bad enough.
And let’s call it as it is, folks: consumers of porn are not without blame. In a world that lives by the rules of supply and demand, the customer ultimately initiates the entire process. If there was no demand, I would never have produced content of this model. I would never have had the money to use to entice her. We all fuel this vehicle called pornography. We’re all in it together.
The porn stories series begins a little earlier than expected.
For the last half hour Belinda and I have been consoling a crying girl who showed up at our house this evening. She begged and pleaded for us to have her photos removed from the internet. Her life, in her own words, has “become a living hell”.
She lost a good job because, according to her boss, she “has too much drama in her life right now”. What is that supposed to mean? It means the boss grew weary of her co-workers talking about the “porn star” in their midst. She was made aware that her presence disrupted the company.
Her boyfriend will leave her if the photos can’t be removed from the internet. He can’t bear having friends teasing him about his “porn star” girlfriend exposing everything for all the world to see.
She told me, “I never thought anyone I knew would see these. There are thousands of websites out there. I just didn’t think they’d be found.”
She begged and pleaded to return the money she was paid in exchange for her photos being removed from the sites for which she’d posed. I had to let her know there is nothing I can do for her. There are hundreds of producers around the world, all of whom have models that change their minds and want to reverse their decision to work in the adult industry. The companies to whom we sell our content generally ignore all requests for removal.
Barely a week ago, this model found out she’s pregnant. She cried as she explained her horror at the thought of her child being teased about having a mother who was involved in pornography.
She’s been dealing with this for weeks, and finally showed up on my door because she doesn’t know what else to do. The stress is overwhelming, and can’t possibly be good for her developing baby.
Unfortunately, removing her photo and video content from the internet (if that were even possible - which it’s not) would not end her problem. The people who have been circulating this material have undoubtedly saved it to their hard drives. They’ll continue sharing it even if the content is pulled.
If, in the future, this model applies for a position that requires a morality clause be signed (a practice that is becoming more popular all the time, by the way) this girl will not qualify. I know this from experience, as another of my models lost a position due to such a clause. This girl’s entire future was changed for the worst when she posed for us on June 26th, 2006.
This story is tame in comparison to those I’ll share with you in the future. But this one is bad enough.
And let’s call it as it is, folks: consumers of porn are not without blame. In a world that lives by the rules of supply and demand, the customer ultimately initiates the entire process. If there was no demand, I would never have produced content of this model. I would never have had the money to use to entice her. We all fuel this vehicle called pornography. We’re all in it together.
An Email I Received This Morning
Posted on September 23, 2007 by Donny Pauling
Hey Donny,
I have a HUGE problem. I’m getting married in a month, and my fiancé FOUND MY PICTURES on the internet. He is beside himself. He is hurt and shocked and being that we are supposed to tie the knot in less than a month, I’m freakin suicidal!!! Freakin sick over this….throwing up, cannot sleep at all…I never thought in a million years that would ever happen. How long do those pictures circulate?? I am seriously pissed.
I know I did those pics and yes it was my fault, I want to get them OFF the internet. Is there anyway possible to do that ASAP? I will pay you the money back, whatever it takes. This will and is ruining my life. I am fearful that his friends will see and torture him about it, or the people I work with in the military. (they are all men) I am absolutely SICK over this. I can’t eat or sleep and I honestly don’t know what to do. I swear to you, I never thought this would happen. I mean, there are a million girls on the freakin internet….why me?! and because you are supposed to be a changed man? into God and everything? please…I need to know that you understand my situation, and find it in your heart to help me. This is destroying me. I know I am 100% responsible for taking the pictures, it’s my fault. But it was a long time ago, and I was single and I needed the money. But isn’t there anything you can do to please help me now??? This was like 2 or 3 years ago? Why are my pics still on the damned internet???
My military career and soon to be marriage (if he still will) is riding on this. Don’t my pictures expire after a certain time? and you just put new ones up? or sell new ones to companies to flush out old girls? I think you can read the desperation in this email.
I am completely desperate (again) at this point Donny and need your help. Can you help me? Please. I need EVERYTHING removed. What can we do? I’ll pay you money, anything. PLEASE say you can help me. PLEASE.
Hey Donny,
I have a HUGE problem. I’m getting married in a month, and my fiancé FOUND MY PICTURES on the internet. He is beside himself. He is hurt and shocked and being that we are supposed to tie the knot in less than a month, I’m freakin suicidal!!! Freakin sick over this….throwing up, cannot sleep at all…I never thought in a million years that would ever happen. How long do those pictures circulate?? I am seriously pissed.
I know I did those pics and yes it was my fault, I want to get them OFF the internet. Is there anyway possible to do that ASAP? I will pay you the money back, whatever it takes. This will and is ruining my life. I am fearful that his friends will see and torture him about it, or the people I work with in the military. (they are all men) I am absolutely SICK over this. I can’t eat or sleep and I honestly don’t know what to do. I swear to you, I never thought this would happen. I mean, there are a million girls on the freakin internet….why me?! and because you are supposed to be a changed man? into God and everything? please…I need to know that you understand my situation, and find it in your heart to help me. This is destroying me. I know I am 100% responsible for taking the pictures, it’s my fault. But it was a long time ago, and I was single and I needed the money. But isn’t there anything you can do to please help me now??? This was like 2 or 3 years ago? Why are my pics still on the damned internet???
My military career and soon to be marriage (if he still will) is riding on this. Don’t my pictures expire after a certain time? and you just put new ones up? or sell new ones to companies to flush out old girls? I think you can read the desperation in this email.
I am completely desperate (again) at this point Donny and need your help. Can you help me? Please. I need EVERYTHING removed. What can we do? I’ll pay you money, anything. PLEASE say you can help me. PLEASE.
Yep, porn is harmless…
See also:
Porn Stories: Another Email from a Former Model (7/28/08)
"Life’s been kind of hard since I took those pics with you 7-8 years back. I had to drop out of a class because the instructor was giving me his opinion about the photos that he just happened to stumble upon, the love of my life broke up with me cause of the pics, got back together with me but will never marry me, I’ve had people I work with get together behind closed doors and share those pictures with each other (had to quit), people recognize me when I’m out about town, I’ve lost my sense of security."
Phone Call This Morning (10/5/06)
...I have little personal attraction to pornography. When asked why I say this I tell them, “When I see a pornographic image or video, instead of seeing what the model is doing in the photo or video I see her two weeks after it was shot. The money has been spent and she’s crying on the phone asking that her photos be removed because her family has found out and are telling her that she’s shamed them.”
Pornoland's unwritten law: "if we tell the truth about what's really going on here, the fan will get turned off"
Bill Margold, a veteran porn star who now counsels young people entering the business, says 18-year-olds are too young to make the potentially life-altering decision to go into porn. "I get 18-, 19-year-old girls who just don't understand that once you do this, you are sociologically damned forever," he said.
Jenna Jameson's Cautions to Would-Be Porn Stars
[The performers] don't own any rights to their screen work, so scenes can be reused in compilations. And because the adult industry isn't unionized and the movies are so cheap to make, the stars make a piddling slice of the overall profits...
Anti-Pornography Activist Blog: "Jenna Jameson’s 25 Good Reasons Why No One Would Ever Want to Become a Porn Star"
“Most girls get their first experience in gonzo films - in which they’re taken to a crappy studio apartment in Mission Hills and penetrated in every hole possible by some abusive asshole who thinks her name is Bitch. And these girls, some of whom have the potential to become major stars in the industry, go home afterward and pledge never to do it again because it was such a terrible experience.” (Pg. 132)
“In a worst-case scenario, a gonzo director will take a girl to a hotel room and have their friends shoot a cheap scene in which she is humiliated in every orifice possible. She walks home with three thousand dollars, bowed legs, and a terrible impression of the industry. It’ll be her first and last movie, and she’ll regret it – to her dying day.” (Pg. 325)
“In other scenarios, she’ll work for two weeks until she’s only getting paid seven hundred dollars a scene and then, finally, no one wants to use her anymore. So she’ll agree to do double penetration or drink the sperm of twelve guys just to stay working.” (Pg. 325)
“If you take the time to read it (a sample adult-film contract) carefully, you will notice many ways in which a female performer can get shafted – both literally and metaphorically.” (Pg. 353)
Martin Amis: "A rough trade" (explicit)
Porn Actresses: Most Careers Are Short, Few Are Lucrative (explicit language)
Testimony in Los Angeles: Peter Bogdanovich on Porn and Hollywood
Since Dorothy [Stratten] was killed, a lot of women have written to me or told me what Playboy has done to them [Stratten, who appeared in Playboy, was murdered by her pimp husband]. Even if they manage to avoid personal liaison within the sex factories, they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it, or live it down, or cover it up, or get away from it. Other young women have been tricked, pressured, blackmailed into pornography, and they have trouble, there's trouble getting them out. Actresses who have consented to some nudity in legitimate films, pictures of this have been put into pornography without their consent. Cybill Shepherd had that happen to her when, from a picture we did together--and believe me, if I had that scene to do over again, we'd just as soon not do it naked, because it wasn't really necessary.
There are lucky ones who won lawsuits. They could afford lawsuits, but didn't repair what happened to them. Since my last testimony, I've been in touch with many people in the entertainment field... They, along with the people that I'm mentioning, the silent people, they're all afraid to come down here and tell you exactly about their experiences... Women who were in pornography are afraid to speak out because it will call attention to their past, which will destroy the margin of legitimacy that they have been able to establish for themselves. These women live in fear of exposure, and there are a lot of them.
Testimony in Minneapolis: Prostitutes Blackmailed with Porn
...on many occasions, my clients are multi-, many-, rape victims. These rapes are often either taped or have photographs taken of the event. The young woman, when she tries to escape or leaves, is told that either she continues her involvement in prostitution or those pictures will be sent to her parents, will be sent to the juvenile court, will be used against her. And out of fear, she will continue her involvement in prostitution.
On several occasions, not many but on several occasions, these young women have found that later that their pictures have been published in pornographic magazines without their knowledge and consent. This is very traumatic, especially when I have been working hard with this young woman to make things in her life better. She is involved in the straight lifestyle and finds out there are published pictures of her engaged in various sex acts.
Capital Video: Purveyors of Shame Feature a New "Celebrity Sex Tape Scandal" (explicit language)
Capital Video excels in the wrongful uses of shame. We have already discussed their prominent offering of "1 Night in Paris" at their website, Amazing.net:
Best price on the web! We are purchasing a huge amount of them and will fulfill all orders as soon as it arrives. This collectors item is a must have for your adult video library! Paris Hilton a blue blood celebrity now forever to be referenced by her 102 minutes of shame. Watched this surveillance film of the Hilton family's worst nightmare. Rick in Paris' Hotel... Rick's tongue in Paris' Pussy...Rick's dick in Paris' mouth...Rick's cock in Paris' pussy! The finale showcases Ms Hilton's blowjob talents where Solomon jerks his load on her breasts.Featured at the top of the Amazing.net home page today is "Kim Kardashian Superstar". The movie box cover bills this as "The NEW Celebrity SEX Tape Scandal". Amazing.net's (typo ridden) sales copy reads:
Paris Hilton’s good friend socialite Kim Kardashian has been caught up in a new sex tape scandal after filming her sexploits with her ex, Whitney Houston’s reported new beau Ray J.A raunchy tape featuring the former couple engaged in various sex acts.Kim Kardishian, the daughter of famed attorney Robert Kardishian, reportedly has been offered a $2 million deal for the exclusive rights to the tape. But Kardashian insists she wants nothing to do with the sale of the sex tape, and insists her ex, R&B star Brandy’s brother, will not want to get caught up in the deal either.Not only is this a bad use of shame, but the consent of the "star" to release the film is not apparent. Capital Video appears to believe that calling attention to this will increase sales, or at least not hurt them. Consent also appears to be missing, or at least not clearly apparent, with the release of the Paris Hilton video. Many of our opponents claim that consenting adults should be allowed to do whatever they want when it comes to porn. The truth is, however, that many elements of the porn industry show little desire to be scrupulous about the appearance or the reality of consent in their products.
Now Showing at Amazing.net: The War on Privacy and Consent (explicit)
Ex Boyfriends Revenge
Dedicated to exposing real ex-girlfriends.
Real Hidden Coed Girls #1
The college coed cummundrum continues! In other words college chicks are getting filmed naked! Without their permission! Naked while they change dress shower get ready for bed or take communal showers with other girls at the...
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