Voice Male: “Intimacy and Porn: A Contradiction in Terms”


Haji Shearer writes about his liberation from porn watching for Voice Male

“About a year ago Voice Male published an article by one of its frequent contributors, journalism professor and anti-porn activist Robert Jensen. He argued that both performers and viewers of pornography are degraded by their involvement. Personally, I know using porn never left me feeling particularly proud. It was more likely to bring up feelings of shame after the fact–seldom a good sign. My reflections sparked by the Jensen article inspired a revelation: Jasmin and I strive for intimacy in our relationship. Using porn hinders that. Whether alone or with my wife, viewing porn takes time and energy away from our union and squanders it on a pseudo-relationship. Even using porn as a stimulus for marital sex is problematic because porn rarely reflects healthy modes of connection. Porn is wham, bam, thank you, ma’am–at best–and not reflective of the kind of sex I really want in my own life. No surprise, I find it easier to achieve sexual pleasure and intimacy with my wife when images of models paid to perform male fantasies are not playing in my head.

“…Porn is like sexual crack–a quick high that feels good as long as you don’t think about it too much. Its long-term negative consequences greatly outweigh any initial rush.

“I am not suggesting that porn be outlawed. I am advocating that men examine our relationship with porn more seriously. I stopped using porn because I’m committed to being the best lover I can, and porn doesn’t support that. There is better sexual software in my own imagination, as well as in enlightened approaches to sex found in Tantra, Taoism, and every male heart. It’s ironic: throwing away that milk crate full of magazines ended up being a giant step toward my true sexual liberation.”

7 thoughts on “Voice Male: “Intimacy and Porn: A Contradiction in Terms”

  1. Hi. I have been following the debate on Mass Live. I wanted to comment on your ability to remain reasoned, calm, and factual at all times, in the face of so many juvenile comments directed towards you on Mass Live. Regardless of one’s feelings on the issue, you do a tremendous job using the facts to bolster your case. I am impressed.

  2. I have noticed on this site and on your flyers going around town that you are NOT shy about posting peoples names,addresses and phone numbers but yet,I fail to see any of your names,addresses and phone numbers so you too may be harrassed at home at all hours of the night.I’m sure those whose numbers you have listed here are not very happy about it.Yes,I know for a fact that people have been using these numbers to call and harrass the people.Let’s have your numbers.It would only be fair.

  3. All the contact information posted on our site derives from public sources, especially documents submitted to the City of Northampton. We prefer to publish people’s business addresses, but in the case of the Goldbergs the only address available, and the one on their building permit application, appears to be their home address.

    As we have said before, we encourage people to use the information on this site responsibly. We don’t condone harassment for any purpose.

    As for our names, they’re right on this press release linked from the Welcome box at the top of the home page, and have been cited in numerous newspaper articles this summer.

    As for our contact information, it’s posted right on the home page not far below the Welcome box:

    • Contact Us

      Email info@nopornnorthampton.org, write to NoPornNorthampton, 351 Pleasant Street, PMB 101, Northampton, MA 01060-3961, or call 413-320-2027.

  4. I have just been told about this site..and as such..some things i would like to comment on…this for example..””NPNAdmin wrote:
    I feel comfortable arguing that a porn shop causes as much social harm as a toxic waste dump, bombing range or crackhouse. We’ve certainly provided plenty of evidence.”
    Ok…so what evidence..does porn harm the envoiroment like toxic waste does??I think not…”CRACKHOUSE”..HMM…so..does porn get ppl addicted and killed like drugs do…er…again no…”Bombing range”..ok..so u throw a porn vid/dvd out of a plane..it falls 30,000 ft and “possibly (very little chance) it will hit someone and kill them…do the same with a bomb in war..same effect?? BIG NO!!!So ur “evidence” is kinda not really evidence…porn is sexuall entertainment…sex is legal…entertainment is fun..so..whats wrong with a fun form of entertainment???Oh wait..maybe u r all celebate..is that it..i doubt it…also…i saw a comment about “someone said to my homosexual friend would u like to b fuc*ed up the ass” and yet…u r saying it is degrading to women..hmm..gay porn..isnt just ladies..is it..am i mistaken???Again NO!!!..i think u will find every point i have made is valid and true..and urs…kinda dumb really…and i am also thinking how much of this comment will get edited..or not put up at all…we will see..if u dont agree with my views..its fine..if u do..thx…after all..i have the freedom to do what i want to do right?in which case..does that not mean ppl have the freedom to watch and buy porn…YES!!!!JUST MY OPINION

  5. We don’t edit other people’s comments. We either approve them or not. Most comments get approved. In some cases, we delay approval while we consider the merits of the comment.

    As a $56 billion dollar global industry, we believe that porn causes immense suffering though its impact on porn workers, porn consumers, and the communities around adult businesses. In America, 43% of all first marriages fail. For second marriages, the failure rate is 60%. This is an enormous social tragedy. The evidence suggests that porn is a factor. Certainly Capital Video’s products don’t respect marriage or fidelity.

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