The Strip Poker Men’s Club provides a helpful guide to achieving just the right balance of fantasy, exploitation, lies and despair in “Understanding The Stripper Psyche So You Can Have Fun and Not Lose Your Wallet” [explicit link, typos in original]:
…be aware, the stripper is animalistic creature; a product of evolution, they have evolved their powers of seduction far beyond that which all women are naturally born with, so by entering any strip club you have just entered a realm that many men are just not capable of handling… unless of course they are powered with the understanding of how the stripper psyche works.
The moment you enter a strip club you are being watched and the moment you make eye contact with a stripper they know exactly how to keep it; you see a stripper will never look away from you…if the stripper is on stage they will pick a customer out of the crowd and hold eye contact with that customer whilst she slowly and erotically strips off. This is the first step of stripper foreplay.
…the seasoned stripper will ask to sit down and chat with you and will not ask you to buy her a drink, she will invest a little of her time, ask you questions and listen to your answers, building a relationship with her client. Soon you feel relaxed and almost obliged to buy her a drink.
Remember girls that are successful in strip clubs are so because they know how to smile, communicate, appear full of fun and vitality. The girl will move in closer to you and make you feel there is a natural attraction process taking place, you both continue to talk and before you know it your buying her another drink, we are still in the foreplay process of the stripper at this stage. Things are going to start to get complicated very soon…
WARNING: …If you bring a credit card and don’t have very disciplined state of mind, as the the evening proceeds and your alcohol level increases, the experienced stripper will indulge your senses and empty your credit card…
The lovely lass leads you into a back-room and this is were she truly works her magic, as you sit there in a state of comfort, perhaps a little drunk if they have done their job well; eagerly awaiting what is about to unfold. It’s at this point that most men generally loose control, there is nothing quite like a young, beautiful and somewhat experienced woman, who knows how to touch you, her lustful gaze as she works that beautiful well kept figure, up and down, backwards and forwards rubbing your crutch to the point where it’s really starting arouse your loins …. and then the music stops… the lap-dance is over. Oh… that’s it, and the irresistible stripper that you have just about fallen in love with by this point says; “hey honey, I really like you, pay for another song” ….
The snare is set … you have a hard-on, unless you have a rock solid disposition harder than your erection, you.. like most guys are going to “pay for another song”, don’t beat yourself up, your human, just like every other guy out there, we all like a little “tit and ass” right? OK, I’ll stay just a little longer and besides, the girl is going through college, you feel like your almost donating the money to charity at this stage. At this stage I don’t need to say more, if you are like most guys you have probably fallen victim at least once, so how do we stay in control and have a good time without loosing our wallet?
Follow some of these guidelines and you’ll leave in good shape…
…Stay in control by turning away a stripper’s first approach, leave the door open but simply stating that you’d like to relax first with a cold beer and perhaps later you’d like company…
If a stripper drinks like a fish, (drinks too quickly) ask her to leave the table, she is focusing too much on your wallet and it’s best to dump her early and find another companion that you can enjoy her company for a lot longer…
Remember your there to have fun and the stripper is there to make money, understand that, don’t fall in love with her otherwise she will drain you dry, enjoy the evening and her company and leave with your dignity in tacked and a smile on your face…
All the negatives aside, the stripper provides a very needed service in the community, she provides that little bit of relief, relaxation and attention that we can’t always get from our girlfriend or wife, and as many a divorced man will tell you it’s cheaper to keep a stripper than a wife.
For a stripper’s perspective, we present a selection from 37 Stripper Rants, as posted in March to gripe site Ofuzi…
1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand
with a death grip and waving it around at me like it’s the fucking deed
to Trump Towers… what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another
pussy?!? It’s a fuckin’ dollar, put it down on the tip rail and blow my
world away already…
4) Don’t pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.
5) Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar
increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are
giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.
6) No I will not just let you “slip it in real quick” for $50 more bucks.
7) Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you…
9) Stop asking me out. You’re a smelly, fat loser and the only
reason I’m smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money.
Outside of the club I wouldn’t even fart your way.
11) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First
of all, your breath ranks (what’d you have for dinner, garlic and
shit?), you’re about 172 lbs. overweight, and you look like Jay Leno.
More importantly: I don’t give a shit.
12) Don’t bitch at me about the $10 non-alcoholic beer either. Hide
a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.
13) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income…
16) DON’T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!…
18) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!! That’s extra.
19) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck!
20) I had a feeling you weren’t going to tip me, so I took extra
care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion
and obnoxious perfume before our dance.
21) Hey cheapasses: please don’t come to my work. Just stay home and
jack off to “Desperate Housewives” instead. It will save us a both a
lot of unpleasantry.
22) Stop asking me why I do this job and try to get all psychologically analytical on me. For the money, you moron, that’s why…
24) NO, I will not take a dime sac for payment. I can tell it’s oregano anyway you stupid motherfucker!…
27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.
28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me…
30) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. It’s like me going to PETA looking for a steak.
31) Girls–what’s with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene
check? Nothing than worse than twirling around the pole and getting a
whiff of stale pussy…
34) Girls–drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not
worse than the BO you’re trying to cover. Take a goddamn shower, you
smell like lapdance funk.
We observe when people speak plainly about adult entertainment, as opposed to when they are trying to convince citizens, courts or elected officials that it’s about art, free expression or sexual liberation, that money often features prominently. Besides the above, see:
Porn Director: The Idea that Porn Actresses Are Not Prostitutes Is Silly (explicit language)
Some porn stars do what’s called a “private”. I think I’ve mentioned
privates here before. They’re kinda funny, too…not the privates
themselves, but the porn stars who do — and don’t — do them. Some Porn
Whores love the side cash, and they realize they’re a whore (as
defined), which means they’ll have sex for money. Where they (the Porn
Whores) get confused is this whole idea of whether a camera is actually
capturing the sex on tape. See, some Porn Whores don’t do privates
cause they “are not” a whore. To these Silly Rabbits, they’re
“actresses” who have sex on tape as part of their job. They reject the
idea that they’re a whore, which means they’ll never do a private, to
which I say, More Power To Ya, Whore!
Capital Video Founder Kenneth Guarino: No Porn for Daughter
Would Mr. Guarino ever let his daughter watch his films? Absolutely not, he says. And does he watch them himself?
he says. “It’s like selling doughnuts. After a week or two you aren’t
going to want to eat any more doughnuts. It’s just a business. I like
to watch the numbers.”
“Waitressing, I cleaned the floors and I own a box of men’s wedding rings that I found on the floor.”
I went back to the strip bars to make money. I cannot tell you the lie
and the fantasy that it is for men. Waitressing, I cleaned the floors
and I own a box of men’s wedding rings that I found on the floor…
degradation and inferiority and humiliation of being presented as two
tits and a hole for entertainment was not as bad as the sexual
harassment I received from the management of these places. Customers
are not allowed to touch you, but management can and does. You cannot
complain to the Labor Board because they say you put yourself there
willingly, and usually it’s under the table. I felt worthless…
Appeals Court Upholds Daytona Zoning and Public Nudity Ordinances; No
Grandfathering for Lollipop’s Gentlemen’s Club; Rebutting Daniel Linz
The Ordinance sets forth the following findings: “The appearance of persons in
the nude in public places . . . increases incidents of lewd and lascivious behavior,
prostitution, sexual assaults and batteries, attracts other criminal activity to the
community, encourages degradation of women, and facilitates other activities
which break down family structures and values…”
Langston testified that live nude and seminude entertainment
businesses “promote and perpetuate urban decay” and that “adult businesses have
impacted on crime in the area surrounding Daytona Beach.” Id. at 547. Smith, who
as an assistant state attorney had prosecuted drug and prostitution offenses in
Daytona Beach, concurred that “there were more drug and prostitution offenses in
topless bars than in other bars.” Id. at 548.
The City also relied on several controlled studies conducted by Dr. William
George about the relationship between drinking alcohol and sexual conduct. Thus,
for example, one study found that exposure to erotica led male subjects to drink
more alcohol than did exposure to non-erotic materials. Another study found that
young men who believed they had consumed alcohol — regardless of whether they
had in fact done so — displayed greater interest in viewing violent and/or erotic
images and reported increased sexual arousal than young men who believed they
had not consumed alcohol. Still another study found that study participants perceived a woman they believed had consumed alcohol as being “significantly
more aggressive, impaired, sexually available, and as significantly more likely to
engage in foreplay and intercourse” than a woman whom study participants
believed had not consumed alcohol.
Footnote 34 from the PDF of the court’s opinion: In addition to crimes against persons, crimes against property, and sex crimes, the
study that focused on Ordinance 81-334 also analyzed “miscellaneous incidents that share in
common that they involve violations of social norms . . . ., includ[ing] drunkenness, disorderly
conduct, drug offenses, liquor law violations, and weapons complaints.” (Experts’ Report 27.)
The study found a statistically significant increase in these so-called “norm violations” in areas
with adult theaters compared to control areas, (id. at 33-34), which could be read to support part
of the City’s rationale for Ordinance 81-334. See Ordinance 81-334 § 2 (seeking to reduce
“undesirable behavior” and “dangers to the health, safety and welfare of the public”). Similarly,
the study that focused on Ordinance 02-496 found a statistically significant increase in drug
related offenses in areas with adult theaters compared to control areas. (Experts’ Report 80, 105
Crime, Nuisances Motivate Cities to Regulate the Location of Adult Entertainment Uses
The City of Kent, Washington had similar experiences with the Roadside
Inn Tavern. Prior to its forced closing, the Roadside Inn offered
topless dancing and table dancing in conjunction with its selling of
alcoholic beverages. Kent police investigations conducted in the summer
of 1981 revealed a very high incidence of criminal activity at the
Roadside, related primarily to sex crimes (prostitution) and drug
related offenses. As a result of 57 hours of on-premise investigation,
162 charges were brought against 21 persons by the Kent Police
Department. The report filed by the police stated: “The total time
involved, and the number of charges, break down to a time expenditure
of slightly more than 20 minutes per charge, attesting to the relative
ease by which the subject of prostitution arises within an environment
such as the Roadside.” In September, 1981, the Roadside Inn Tavern was
closed by the City of Kent.
The Science Behind Pornography Addiction (explicit language)
[Performers in the sex industry] have high rates of substance abuse,
typically alcohol and cocaine, depression, borderline personality
disorder which is a particularly serious disorder and dissociative
identity disorder which used to be called multiple personality
disorder. The experience I find most common among the performers is
that they have to be drunk, high or dissociated in order to go to work.
Their work environment is particularly toxic. One study on strippers
indicated that they were likely to be punched, slapped, grabbed, called
cunt and whore and to be followed home or stalked. Not surprisingly,
these women often work with bodyguards. This live form of pornography
causes violence and the customers receiving these Permission-Giving
Beliefs become carriers of these beliefs back to their homes, onto
their jobs, into the street, onto the school yard. There they encounter
women and children who do not have bodyguards.
The terrible work
life of the pornography performer is often followed by an equally
terrible home life. They have an increased risk of sexually transmitted
disease including HIV, domestic violence and have about a 25% chance of
making a marriage that lasts as long as 3 years.
Viewing Booths and HIV: An Open Letter to Thomas Lesser of Northampton, Attorney for Capital Video
Police reports suggest a number of Springfield Capital Video patrons
are drunk. Scientists are finding that high-risk sex, intoxication and
being HIV-positive correlate with each other.
Schwyzer on Porn: “The pursuit of everlasting novelty is the enemy of actual relationship”
Ultimately, the great tragedy of porn is that it teaches the men who use it to pursue “everlasting novelty…”
The pursuit of everlasting novelty is the enemy of actual relationship.
Real relationships are built on a very different premise from porn —
the notion that what is really sexy is not “new skin” but radical
connection with one other person. Porn
says that happiness is found by having the same experience over and
over again with lots of different women; true eros says that happiness
is found by having different experiences over and over again with the
…no one, no one, no one, can just “compartmentalize, disconnect, and come back.”
Many men think they do so with impunity, but it’s the consensus of both
the theologians and the marriage and family therapists that no good
life can be lived well in compartments. We are called to
wholeness, Ethan; men — all men, even in their late teens in the throes
of lust — are capable of matching their desires, their behavior, their
hearts. Is it easy? Heck no. But is it possible? Yes. Is it desirable? You bet it is…