Punishment Porn: “Whether-She-Wants-It-Or-Not” (explicit)

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Strictly Speaking Spanking, a magazine on sale at Bookends of Enfield, calls itself “entertainment for consenting adults”. On reading the magazine, however, one could be forgiven for becoming confused about the role of consent in the entertainment.

SSS publishes a letter from Allison in California:

“David, don’t you dare spank me!” I shrieked, feeling only fear and none of the excitement I had when I came up with my crazy scheme…

“I-I’ll never forgive you if… OWWWW!” Without warning, David’s hand rose and fell, cracking sharply against the bare, right cheek of my quivering bottom. I thought my lover wouldn’t spank me as hard as my father. But it wasn’t a love tap he landed. It was a full-arm, full-force spank!…

“OUCH! NOT SO FAST! OWWWWW!” I screamed and really tried to squirm off David’s thigh…

“YEEOWWCH! STOP IT!!” I screamed and shot a hand back to protect my blazing behind. David’s failure to concede to my pleas or to say a word in reply scared me to death!…

“I told you you’d be sorry, didn’t I?” David demanded to know, breaking his silence but continuing to spank around my shifting hand.

“OUCH! Y-YES DAVID! AND I AM SORRY!! REALLY I AM!! OWWWW!”

“Not as sorry as you’re going to be!… Maybe you’ll listen to me next time and not act like a spoiled brat… I love and respect you, Allison…but I won’t stand by and let you do something dangerous and stupid. Do you hear me?”…

An SSS call for reader contributions:

SSS publishes a letter from Cindy in California:

I hate being discipline spanked, but I can honestly say I earned every one of them…like when I’d foolishly let my car run out of gas… This time I knew I had gotten myself into even bigger trouble…

“Take down your jeans and panties,” he ordered.

My face averted, I did as I was told. I’ve learned the hard way that hesitating or protesting is stupid. But I haven’t learned how not to feel utterly juvenile and humiliated while I stand there in front of Rich, naked from the waist down while he scolds me, explains what I’ve done wrong, and tells me exactly what I’m about to get…

My shrieking became progressively louder and my bucking became progressively more frantic as he spanked me, and then a funny thing happened. Everything went black. I didn’t pass out, it was more like all my senses shut down, and all I could do was wail out my misery…

I snuggled into Rich’s arms, returning his affections, and promised not to do anything to make him spank me so hard again.

As much as I hate spankings, this is one of my favorite times. The punishment is over, all is forgiven, and the man I love has shown me that he loves me and cares for me…

SSS reports on “The Truly WHACKY World of Pro Wrestling!”:

[T]o the delight of the frenzied mob of young & old fans who’d just love to see her so shamed, The Shadow…blows Angie’s plan by ambushing her from behind & dragging her right to the manly man who is ready, eager & more than able to turn her over his muscular thigh & give her saucy seat six good whacks that tame the fiery female & have her singing a totally different tune when she’s finally released & forced to apologize to all.”

Here are some of our concerns about this material:

  • Consent is lacking

  • Gives permission to abusers to abuse

  • Trains abusers to ignore a woman’s protests by suggesting women ultimately come to accept and enjoy their abuse

  • A woman reports experiencing a psychotic break during her abuse

  • The abuser reinforces psychological control by alternating abuse with affection–a classic characteristic of an abusive relationship

  • The victims feel they are to blame for the abuse

  • The wrestling shows an assertive woman being cowed by violence

—————— (added on 3/3/07)

National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: What are the dynamics of an abusive relationship?

Research focusing on the dynamics of abusive relationships has resulted in several ways of understanding the interactions between the batterer and the victim. The first conceptualization is that of the Cycle of Violence consisting of three stages: the tension building stage (tension in the relationship gradually increases over time); the acute battering stage (tension erupts, resulting in threats or use of violence and abuse); and the honeymoon stage (the batterer may be apologetic and remorseful and promise not to be abusive again). The cycle continues throughout the relationship, with the honeymoon stage becoming shorter and the episodes of battering becoming more frequent or more severe. The honeymoon stage reinforces the victim’s hope that the batterer will change and contributes to the victim staying in the relationship.

The concept of Traumatic Bonding has also been developed to explain the dynamics of domestic violence relationships. Essentially, strong emotional connections develop between the victim and the perpetrator during the abusive relationship. These emotional ties develop due to the imbalance of power between the batterer and the victim and because the treatment is intermittently good and bad. In terms of the power imbalance, as the abuser gains more power, the abused individual feels worse about him- or herself, is less able to protect him- or herself, and is less competent. The abused person therefore becomes increasingly dependent on the abuser. The second key factor in traumatic bonding is the intermittent and unpredictable abuse. While this may sound counterintuitive, the abuse is offset by an increase in positive behaviors such as attention, gifts, and promises. The abused individual also feels relief that the abuse has ended. Thus, there is intermittent reinforcement for the behavior, which is difficult to extinguish and serves instead to strengthen the bond between the abuser and the individual being abused.

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